Akma, one of my best friends, called me a few weeks ago and asked me for my address. When I told Mr. A about it, he said most probably she would mail some lingerie she ordered from the US just for me (she has a brother studying there). LOL. Such wishful thinking! Anyway, whatever she wanted to mail me came last week.

It came in a very normal looking envelope and didn’t look suspicious at all. Inside, there were a bunch of A5 papers (pullouts from an organiser) with a note attached:

Salam,
Tgh aku kemas2 laci kat office, tetiba terjumpe compilation msg2 kau dulu (and yes.. aku mmg takde keje tul dulu2) =) Enjoy! Hope you’ll like it.

I started reading…

Smiling…

Laughing!

There they were, text messages from me to her documented and haunting! Those messages were texted in 2004, about five years ago. Five years ago, when I was still Wani Kembara (because I used to drive a Kembara; I was and am not the outdoorsy type).

I graduated from Uniten in 2003. Looking back I didn’t think 2003 was a good year for me. Most friends easily got good jobs because of their good CGPA. I on the other hand got a job at a very small company where I was the only employee who did everything from calling clients to dispatching letters. At the same time I was really heartbroken (got “dumped” around July). I was lost in every way.

I quit my job after a few months. Still heartbroken, I spent most of my days feeling depressed. Towards the end of December, I got an offer letter for Kursus Perguruan Lepasan Ijazah (KPLI), in TESL (Menengah) at Maktab Perguruan Temenggong Ibrahim (MPTI), JB. With nothing better to do, I guess that was my calling. So off I went…

horror!!! hideous giler!!! bilik aku atas skali, ujung skali, blakang skali! burok plak tu! toilet toksah cite aa.. ceiling lobang2, kepale shower xde, nasib baik air laju ngan sejuk. roommate aku melayu, mak org, org jb, dok seminggu je. nx week dok sorang la aku! & e nightmare continues. -26 Jan 2004, 1.02 p.m.

korang… sedih..! mak pak aku dh blk dh. roommate xde. aku still xleh nk terima hakikat aku dok johor sethn. dhla aku x kenal sape pon kt mktb ni. period 1st day lk tuh. sakit jiwa la aku camni. ni aku nk g mandi ni.. wash away all my tears and fears ;( - 26 Jan 2004, 3.18 p.m.

26 Jan 2004 was the first day. Orientation week sort of went like this:

aku dah jumpe 3 mamat yg agak ensem. 2 amek catering. sorang math sek ren. aku target yg amik cat tu sorang. skali die angkat tgn bile pensyarah tanye sape dh kawin.. ceh, tensen. smlm susah nk lelap. mate bulat je. tido 2 jm lebih je. ngantuk! 27 Jan 2004 10.10 a.m.

kelas (sini pgl opsyen) aku ade 17 org (shj!). pompuan 14 laki 3. yg single aku (sorang!) ngan bbdk laki tu. pompuan sume dah kawin ngan ade anak xcept sorang tp dh btunang. aku plg muda. sume org buat aku cam budak kecik. kalo aku x makan, kena marah sket. lapo dieorg sua roti krim kt aku. maklumla ibu2 sume.. - 28 Jan 2004, 2.04 p.m.

bodohhh! tau x aku tjatuh dpn bdk math yg cute tu. arghh horror! die siap cakap Allahuakhbar plak tu! bongeks! mintak2 la die x nampak muka aku sbb jatuh dlm gelap =p - 29 Jan 2004, 10.16 p.m.

drama group aku menang no 1! – 29 Jan 2004, 10.15 p.m.

I was never an active student neither during my school days nor during university. But in MPTI, I became one of the chairmen for our Jawatankuasa Perwakilan Pelajar (JPP). I was the Pengerusi Penerbitan. Proudly, I can say that I had produced the 2004 yearbook for MPTI.

korang..! hr ni hr pertama aku sbg ajk jpp. aku pengerusi biro penerbitan. tp x rasmi lg. jumaat ni penyerahan kuasa informal. rasmi nnt buat dlm dwn dpn sume org – 10 Feb 2004, 2.56 p.m.

Anyway, most of the time I still feel lonely but I guess I was beginning to get back on my feet.

waaa!! i miss my friends back home! ;o( 4 Mar 2004, 10.58 a.m.

waaa i feel like crying!! i don’t have any wan-g* here 2 run 2. my car is my only sanctuary. uwaaa! – 4 Mar 2004, 10.58 a.m.

akma, apela cite ko ni? senyap sunyi jeh. x rindu ke kt aku? wish that e 4 of us r hanging out together now. can talk2 & gossip2. haha. – 23 May 2004, 9.16 p.m.

*Wan-G is my aunt who lives in Kajang. Her home was my sanctuary back when I was studying in Uniten.

MPTI was also the place where I met Mr. A. We got close because we were always working with each other as he was also one of the JPPs. And he was always looking out for me since I was the youngest in JPP and he’s the oldest.

i just got my first rose ever.. (fr a guy la weh) – 23 May 2004, 11.39 p.m.

korang- korang.. aku dh jd gf orang =) – 23 Jul 2004, 9.30 p.m.

I got an A- for my practicum. I almost deserved an A but I didn’t come up with enough ABM (alat bantu mengajar) but anyway I knew I did well =)

hi korang. hr ni pmntauan aku dpt 17 mrkh penuh out of 21 criteria. highest tkt ni. mentor commented “well cut to b a teacher” & “should do well in ur career”. – 14 Sept 2004, 1.23 p.m.

Mr. A and I knew we were going to marry each other so in the same year we got engaged. We got engaged on 27th Nov 2004.

hi korg! bosan x bkeje? aku pn tgh bosan. tgh kursus kuliah sjrh msia. ngantuk aku. hr ni 1hb dh. sronoknye! – 1 Nov 2003, 11.03 a.m.

But not without any challenges.

korg! isk smlm aku br tau yg sorg mamat yg aku minat giler ni (sblum aku bcinta) minat kt aku gak. 25 mins 2 late tul la. tgugat aku dgr smlm. ni la drh manis. – 8 Nov 2004, 2.25 p.m.

LOL. 2004 turned out to be a good year – love-wise. I had a lot of attentions that year (showed me how important it is to be myself).

That mamat who had a crush on me (who I also had a crush on) was a sweet-looking Kelantanese. We met on his first day at the college. He was from a 3rd batch or something. Later, I always sent my regards (kirim salam) anonymously to him through my best JPP buddy there. He never did kirim salam back to me (the anonymous admirer or so I thought - somehow he knew I was later told).

But whenever we bumped into each other he would always try to make up conversations with me or if not he would plainly stare at me. And once he gave me (he named me his Gadis Misteri; and later his "girlfriend") some green apples through my best buddy (who eventually became his buddy too).

I finally knew he also had a crush on me when I received a sajak from him (passed to me by our buddy). I don’t remember much of it as it was too metaphoric but I think some of the lines meant something about how he was glad that he got to know me even as just-friends. How nice =)

Guess that heartbroken girl could also be a heartbreaker.

Those good old days… How I wish I can relive them *wink*

PS: Akma, you are definitely my BFF.


PSS: Sadly, I don’t have any pictures from MPTI to be included here. I think I have some pictures but I don’t know where there are now.

PSS: Not all the text messages are included here. Some are just plain silly and some too private that Mr. A surely will kill me if he got to know LOL.